Thursday, March 6, 2008

Squatters


I cant use 'em. I thought I almost had it today, having taken some advice from Ashley about both pulling down and pulling up my pants, but no. Pee splashed on my shoe. It was gross. Im not proud. I just dont fucking understand the things. How to I get my urine to shoot down, not get on my pants, not splash on my shoe, while holding my pants up and down, and reaching for toilet paper? What am I missing? Because Im sick of taking off my pants and underthings, folding them neatly, and balancing them on my head every time I have to take a leak.

(I like the surprise factor with toilets here. Sometimes there's a heated seat, sometimes there's a hole in the ground.)

10 comments:

maTT said...

Best post so far. You needed to do more camping when you were younger.

ElizT said...

That really made me laugh. I had a puzzling time in one Japanese public toilet, up some mountain, and came out to find the local friends keen to know how I had managed, having chosen the wrong one.

LSL said...

I used those things about three times in the mall when it was an emergency. That's it. And I peed on myself every time.

Jeannetto said...

Lately Ive had to use them a lot more. Maybe I should bring spare pants and socks with me.

Frederik Jurk said...

Squatting is the king of all strength excercises; the muscles in the legs are the one that build up the fastest.

I remember that when I was on a road trip to through France with two friends of mine (if this sounds like my life is exciting - this was only once and way back then) I remember one of these "Hole in the ground" restrooms at some gas station. In France. I never thought they´d have this in Japan, too. In Germany: NEVER. Although sometimes the toilet seats are missing and there is some pretty mean graffiti all over it, but no actual toilet?

Frederik Jurk said...

...maybe Japan doesn´t seem to think that people might want to be comfortable at the toilet, and even *gasp* TAKE THEIR TIME. They are just too busy.

Anonymous said...

I know I hate them too. The first time I had to use one was an outhouse in Russia. There was at least walls to brace myself against. It was still hard because there was no light and it was dark and it was dirty, it was a wooden shack with a hole in the bottom off some random highway in Russia. The second time was in Italy at a cafe. Again like you I had no idea what to do so I went for taking my pants off. People were banging on the door, they must have wondered what I was doing in there.
Frederik is right you have to master the squat to master these toilets. I guess people who don't sit on public toilets in the US would do better with these toilets. Sarah.

Anonymous said...

roflol i warned u of japanese toilets before when u 1st got there. have fun i sure did. personally its best to dis robe. no fuss no musss sorta well good luck now that u have been intoduced to them:
m. dailey

Ellis Nadler said...

the origin of the phrase "diddly squat"?

Anonymous said...

OMG I'm SOOOOOO happy I'm not the only one taking off everything from the waist down....still after almost 2 years in Japan!