Sunshine and Lollipops

I am encouraging you not to read the following. Especially children.

Now that I have a plan and kind of know what Im doing I have time to get really really pissed. I have no money and no answers. The Nova teachers still havent been paid two month's salaries. I used all the money I had to come to this fucking country. Now Im in a huge hole that'll take years to climb out of. Not to mention the government here doesnt give a shit about all the unemployed gaijins. There are some rumours that if I go to this city and find some sort of window marked "Nova" I may get a form that'll tell me how long I have to wait to get paid--but obviously, no one at the magic window speaks English. This is a full-on rant right now. No paragraph breaks. I was interrupted from watching some godawful video next door with the news, via text message, that there is a meeting a few cities over tomorrow, at 10am, where I can resign? Or get the paperwork to resign? Because if I dont resign I have to interview again? I DONT EVEN KNOW! These fucking broken English text messages being passed down through dozens of people make no sense. Not to mention, I dont even have a cell phone! Im hearing all this second and third hand! Just pay me my goddamn money! And Im not going to resign!? I dont even qualify for unemployment! I just biked here and Im spending all the money I have to figure out what's going on. And Im fucking hungry and sick of alternating between rice and pasta every night! I feel like Im going to explode. I am so pissed. I want to rip this computer from the wall and scream at these people around me. But they wouldnt ever understand a fucking word Im saying!! My shoes have huge holes in them. You can see my socks. I cant afford new ones and if I could it'd take too long to try and buy them. AND I HAVE NOTHING TO READ and was desperate enough to start the fucking Da Vinci Code. AND maybe I got a job that starts in two months, but the Korean winter camp hasnt called me back, and I dont even know how Id afford to get there. Today someone made a phone call to Nova personnel in Osaka to ask about our apartments and no one has a fucking clue when we have to leave. There advice was wait for a court order. SPEAKING OF COURT ORDERS--my dentist bill continues to go unpaid, which will result in another summons... as well as my student loan, cell phone, and soon my website. Read this for a laugh. Im never getting paid. Fuck I fucking hate this fucking place. And, as a result of this rant my mom is going to be pissed at me and make me feel bad. AHHHH! I cant believe how bad I got screwed coming here. The life I used to have and hated is gone, and been replaced by a new life I hate. I just feel like it'd be OK if there was someone I could punch. Or light on fire.