Monday, May 19, 2008

Oh, Sweet Internet!

The question we're all wondering but were afraid to ask, am I depressed? Well, despite my total lack of understanding of what that means, I just found a test that promised answers. Thank God. And it was as close as the Yahoo! homepage. Obviously Yahoo! has been doing their job in collecting my personal data, because an ad for a test that promised instant results (but you know, no actual answers) was too tempting to resist.

Some of the questions included, "I was bothered by things that usually dont bother me." I answered a big, "Hell Yes!" I have the perfect example. This week two really cute Japanese guys came over my house. Normally, Id be extactic about that. But, this Saturday it really pissed me off. It was 11am, I hadnt showered, was wearing a pair of pajamas my mom gave me, and all they wanted to do was setup my internet!

I was actually shocked to find out that the Yahoo! test has decided that I am indeed, depressed! I mean, Ive been sitting around all day, curtains drawn, eating everything in sight, watching disc after disc of Sex and the City, avoiding housework, skipping Japanese class to take naps, and staring at my cell phone, while unknowingly suffering from this terrible disease! Did you know it strikes 99.75% of the population? The other .25% enjoy rock climbing.

And I even answered the question, "I feel that I am just as good as other people" with 5-7 days (this week). I'd have answered "actually, better than most people" but it was multiple choice. C'mon, me? Depressed?

Next test, Anxiety Problems, or Just Worried? Im dying to find out!

But seriously, who cares if we're all depressed? What are we expecting?

In other words. I have the internet now! Wooot!

8 comments:

Neil said...

I say, there's something wrong with you if you're not depressed!

ElizT said...

A little joy goes well with depression.

josh pincus is crying said...

ahhhh, the internet is overrated.

Jeannette said...

I was recently directed to Radiolab's "Deceit" episode (by Skulldaggery) which explains that people who are in touch with reality and their own consciousness are way more fucking depressed.

red-handed said...

It's "ecstatic". Cheer the fuck up and learn how to spell.

Jeannette said...

Whatever, we spell things differently here.

Prozacville said...

I love a good depressive post.

orangefrute88 said...

you are hilarious! i'm sorry you don't enjoy rock climbing