He came out of nowhere one night, jumping in front of me, while I was watching a particularly creepy episode of Lost. Im pretty sure it was just as John didnt press the button or something. I screamed profanities and ran around in circles, then finally got myself together enough to trap him in a bowl. I left him there next to the television for over a week.
A few days ago while I was vacuuming I figured he was dead, so I lifted up the bowl. He wasnt.
Back to the bowl for you!
I contemplated just vacuuming him up, but then I realized that all my recent bad luck may be due to my imprisonment of the creepy little thing, so I let him go. How vegetarian of me.
Then, today as I was walking up the stairs I saw him sitting where I'd released him. He doesnt move. I think he's dead.
The box on the top right is where they control the hidden cameras.
Mine has this nice paneling, so when I close the door and take a seat sometimes I imagine I am in a lemon-scented forest. Note the sink. That happens to be the only bathroom sink in the apartment.
Now hold on. Think about that.
I dont mind washing my hands there, but what about brushing my teeth? And everything else you should only do in your bathroom sink? I dont know. So Ive stopped doing it all.
Oh, and a mirror! Where do I give myself a look-over? You'll see.
You can see the futon you'll be sleeping on folded on the bottom left.
The green bag is filled with pharmaceuticals.
So that's my new place. I'm living alone and I anxiously await your arrival. Make sure to bring a board game or something to do. The internet connection is a bit spotty. This post has taken over five hours (Im not kidding). But it's not like I had anything better to do today.
Did I mention the dead bat that was in here, too?